Be the first one on your block.........

Yes kids, you too can have a "flat daddy", you won't get any hugs from it and it can't play catch with you, but now you can stay up late, watch tv and eat all the cookies you can want!
No need for a real daddy or mommy, after all don't you want to be free?

But seriously, and that's getting harder and harder to be. Is this sick or what? Who the fuck would be comforted to have a goddamn cardboard cutout in lieu of a real flesh and blood parent, husband, wife, son or daughter? What happens if they get killed over there? I wonder if our cardboard cutout of a president ever thinks about that.